Wow...Weekends now mean so much more to me than they have in 15 years! It used to be that weekends were the time that I didn't have to drive the kids to school or worry about homework. We also got to see Rob't during the day...sometimes. Now, weekends are the time that I don't have to shower first thing in the morning if I don't want to. I don't have to blow dry my hair if it doesn't need it. I don't have to wear make-up. I don't have to be trapped, like a rat in a building. I can go do or not do whatever I want!
Saturday we had planned to go out of town to a picnic area with my whole family. When we woke up Rob't asked me to go check the weather and see what it was like, we wouldn't want to go for our picnic if it was raining. My reply was that I didn't care what the weather was like...I was going! I nearly got a panic attack thinking about cancelling it. I wanted to be outside & run & jump & be free & one with nature. I wanted to see my brother & sister & all the kids, since I don't hardly get to talk to them anymore. We decided not to go out of town, but had a picnic at a park in town. It was so much fun, chillier than we are used to, but welcome with the hell of summer looming on us. I hadn't realized how clausterphobic I had been feeling until that morning. YES I can see out of windows at my office, but that is just a tease. What good is being able to look out when you aren't able to go out?
I didn't wear make-up. I couldn't believe how happy I was not to put it on. For Mass I just wore mascarra & a little lipstick, but the rest of the time it was au natural. Yes, I believe I may be a moron. This morning, as I was washing my face #1 was in there with me. I was grumbling, "gotta wash my face before I gunk it all up again." He was confused, "Don't you mean gunk it up before you wash it?" "No, I'm washing it so I can just gunk it up with makeup." He looked bewildered and walked away. In that respect, I wish I were a man.
Lunch is over...more later.
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