Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Embracing my new found sveltitude

This is not an easy task. I still feel somewhat like that gross old fat lady. I am far from my goal weight (which I haven't seen since freshman year...of high school) but I have lost 5 1/2 pounds since joining WW, 12 since the start of the fat burn challenge, and 18 since critical mass. I'm not really sure when critical mass was, but it was within the past year. It was the kind of number that, upon first viewing, makes ones skin flush and blood run cold. It was a number that I had never seen, and will never see again! My clothes are fitting better and I'm able to wear things that I haven't in over a year.

I keep wearing the fat clothes, because, well, who has the money to buy new work clothes? I have a couple of skirts that are loose enough I'm beginning to fear they will fall off. What does is say about me that I'm hoping that happens? It would be completely different from the eyeliner/mooning incident chronicled in Humiliations Galore. It would be conformation of my ongoing achievement. (Seeing how the world would end if DM ever acknowledged it.) Or maybe I'm just a closet, or not so closet (WOULD YOU SHUT THE FREAKING DOOR?!?) exhibitionist. I can see it now! I get out of my desk in the morgue. I walk toward the boss du jure's office. My feet tangle in the skirt around my ankles and I fall KATHUNK to the floor. No one would notice as this is the morgue & I am the only one who is capable of human emotion or aware of their surroundings. Kicking off the blessedly offending skirt I do move like this:
Well, the add a photo feature is not working...imagine a kid breakdancing...imagine me break dancing. Eewww never mind, don't do that. We might hurt something.

So, anyway, back to the reason for this post. No really, I'm not ADHD!

I went out for a break...yes to smoke & read...(take that DM)...on my way back in I was engrossed in my book. Since having been a highly accomplished read-walker since I began to read, I was doing just that. As I approached the glass doors I heard someone behind me. I glanced at the door to see who was behind me and how far away they were when I saw the reflection of a nice looking woman. It still amazes me how fast the human mind can process information. What happened inside my head goes something like this:

Wow, she looks good

dark wavy hair

cow jacket

nice lipstick

just like me



DAMN!!!!!! I LOOK GOOD!!!!

Oh, there's a blond lady behind me carrying two Starbucks cups. I should open the door for her. I guess she looks good too.

I guess I am now truly embracing my new found sveltitude.

Monday, February 25, 2008

WeightWatchers really works!!

There was a fatburn challenge at work in October. I entered, tried, lost a couple pounds, but nothing good enough to win money in the challenge. Part of my problem was that Driven Man was doing anything he could to undermine me. The other part was that I didn't really have a plan. I "tried to eat better". I didn't want to go on a "diet" because then I would feel denied and then cheat & quit. I wanted to exercise, but couldn't figure it out. Driven Man was so against me joining a gym & so I dragged my feet. After the contest ended, I decided not to care what he thought. I need to exercise, I need to eat better food than the processed, greasy, prepackaged stuff that we have been eating for so long. I decided to take a page from the DM handbook and do what I want without saying anything to him. I signed up at the Bally's by my house. I have been consistently going now for the past few weeks.

I joined WeightWatchers inadvertently. I wanted to learn more because my BFF, who happens to work at the same company I do, has been doing it. I needed to learn about it so I could keep talking to her. Everything was points this and points that. They had a deal where you get a free week membership in their online program. I had to enter my card info, since at the end of the week they charge for a 3 month membership. I thought, "No problem, I'll just cancel before the week is up." HA!!!! I am now $70 poorer, but 5 1/2 pounds lighter!!! I figured that if I paid the $, I may as well work the program. The funny thing is, it really does work. I'm not feeling deprived or hungry and it is helping me change the way I think about food.

Today we had a secretarial meeting and they had bagels for us. I just grabbed a bottle of water and sat down. When people started asking why I wasn't eating (was I not feeling well?) I smiled and said, "I lost 2 1/2 lbs. this week, that feels better than any bagel tastes."