Tuesday, September 30, 2008

My life on public transit

So...since the beginning of summer I have been mostly taking the bus to work. And as strange as you all know I am, I really enjoy it. I know. I'm sick. There is something wrong with me that a nice lobotomy would probably take care of.

Reasons I like the bus:

  • I get my exercise by walking to and from the bus.
  • During the monsoon I got to walk in all kinds of wild weather conditions. I never did get rained on tho' darnnit.
  • Now that the kids are back in school I get to play with them on the bus for a short time.
  • Lots of photo opportunities! (See my Facebook bus album)
  • I put my makeup on while riding. This is ever so much safer than putting makeup on while driving.
  • I plug in to my Pod and read a book. Not a bad way to spend 30-45 minutes.
  • All the new friends I get to meet!
  • Retarded Monkey Spandex Man...whose name is Richard I found out today.
  • Lots of photo opportunities!
  • So many stories.
  • So many sights.
  • So many smells.
  • The lack of monotony. In the car it is just me. On the bus I get to see different things all the time.
  • Public transit is a veritable socioeconomic melting pot. You have the rich & poor all together in an uncomfortable, cramped, noisy space.
  • Getting up close and personal with my fellow man (sometimes WAY TOO up close).
  • Constant opportunities to laugh. Just the other day a very large woman of color got on the bus with what appeared to be about 2 dozen bags hanging off her arms. She was a plastic sack tree. She did not appear to be homeless, but damn she had a lot of bags. She was wearing a pretty lavender shirt that was 2 sizes too small. It did not come down anywhere approaching her waistband. She didn't have a waist...she had a belly. Her belly dunlapped over her belt. I was frightened. I still have a belly albeit a much smaller one. I have the good sense to keep it covered up!

Anyway, you get the idea. The whole thing just cracks me up. There is something funny every single day. I love walking from the the bus into my office in the morning. For some reason that jaunt from Van Buren to Washington, while listening to my tunes, just makes me so happy. Sometimes I want to barf because I feel like Mary Tyler Moore. If I had a hat I would throw it.

Sad, but true. Up next...Unintentional Exercise or Bus Misadventures

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Freaks in Downtown Phoenix

When last we met the junior freaks and their fearless leader got to leave "Take Your Child to Work Day" early.
What to do? Go home two hours early to a grumpy man? Absolutely not! We went on a walking tour of Downtown Phoenix.
First there was lunch. Now, there are many interesting sights and sounds downtown that give it its own distinct flavor. One major attraction is Angry Preacher Guy (whose name, I've been told is Robert).
Nearly every afternoon, for a couple hours, this guy is on his corner, screaming about the wages of sin and the wrath of JE sus. This photo is about as friendly looking as the man gets. I've been wanting to take his picture for quite some time, but didn't have the guts. The boys & I had gone to Starbucks, which is across the street from his perch. No! I did not take the photo blatantly. I had #1 pose, acted like I was taking his pic. & just zoomed to get this shot. Aren't I sneaky? Or stupid, whatever.
We also watched construction:
Then #3 posed in front of the naked man statue:

Please note the hand placement. It was actually unintentional, tho does keep my blog rated PG.
We then decided to walk over to the Herberger Theater. Well, actually, I decided, but that is the joy of being the Fearless Freak Leader, isn't it?

The Herberger has many statues in front of it. Dancing statues. Naked, dancing statues. Are you sensing a theme? I have always wanted to dance with the naked statues. So we did. Here is the evidence:

It was so very, very much fun. This last picture was the only pose #2 would do. The other two participated marvelously...especially #3.

From there we went over to the Arizona Center. Whilst #2 went in Hooter's (at least they aren't naked) to use the restroom, the other boys had a lunch bag fight.

I love the way people watch us when we do these things. It is such fun being a freak. I highly recommend it!

After milling around the Arizona Center for a while, we decided to take the trek home. Well, we took the bus home, but you got that didn't you?

It was a hot day...very, very hot...surface of the sun hot. We waited in the sun at the bus stop, despairing of ever being cool again. When it finally arrived there was much rejoicing!

The bus didn't have air conditioning!