tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74708500458872414382024-03-13T19:08:24.428-07:00Interesting Social ExperimentThe experiment is ongoing, tho different. I am now separated. When I lost my job, and didn’t find another months later, I realized it was time to go back to school. I’m pursuing a degree in photography & graphic design. The Minions are now 18, 16, 12 & 8. #1 & I are going to the same college & #2 has been on dialysis since Dec ’10. This is us…navigating this scary, amazing, difficult, wondrous time in our lives.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-74946379935699002742012-09-21T11:56:00.000-07:002012-09-21T11:56:35.421-07:00I HAVE A JOB!!!!<br />
After being unemployed for a year and a half, I am gainfully employed again. I’m doing admin type of stuff for a CPA firm that has recently merged with another company. Right now the position is temporary (through December) and three days a week, while they get their bearings as to what exactly it is that they need. This is a good thing. I’m still able to go to school, albeit part time, and it is a nice ease-in to the rat race. <br />
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The down side is that right now they aren’t very busy and I have no work at the moment. It is so tough being the newbie with nothing to do! Right now the lady that is training me is nowhere to be found…so I’m blogging again. <br />
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I’m so weird and am afraid I’m becoming a cranky old lady. I just don’t know what I want. I miss being at home and available for my kids. I hate being stuck in an office building with nothing to do. I’m sure it will be better once there is work to do. Wednesday a couple statements came in that I was able to work on…it was the first day that I didn’t feel like gnawing my arm off. I’m working on finding the joy in every moment. One cool thing is that our Phoenix office is on the 23rd floor and the Mesa office is on the 14th. The views are spectacular! Another is that I’m learning how to add links to Excel documents in Word, new skills are always groovy. Yet another is that I am up & looking pretty every morning…the self esteem is so much better when one does that, rather than rolling out of bed and flinging on whatever is at hand. <br />
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Well, that’s it for the job. Maybe I’ll be posting more.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-20831832491825992212012-05-18T23:30:00.000-07:002012-05-18T23:30:49.327-07:00I'm a Guardian AngelI'm a collector of kids. I have my own amazing minions, as well as a slew of their friends that call me mom. Most of my collection are boys, but I'm sure more girls will be added as The Princess gets older. When I was young I imagined I would have twice the number of children I do. But now I have all these extras to love & play with & I don't have to be responsible for their homework...boy howdy is that a plus.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AeUm9CgoKrU/T7c8LDiTxRI/AAAAAAAAAOc/U_0ktJWTSaw/s1600/20131071526-Kurt-1-257x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AeUm9CgoKrU/T7c8LDiTxRI/AAAAAAAAAOc/U_0ktJWTSaw/s1600/20131071526-Kurt-1-257x300.jpg" /></a><a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Leila</a> introduced me to Reece's Rainbow and all the precious orphans that so desperately need families. I can't allow myself too much time on the site because I want to bring them all home...especially the boys. Then came <a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=Kurt" target="_blank">Kurt</a>. I fell into his big, brown eyes and wasn't able to surface. I want to kiss those cheeks and get him to smile. If my life were different I would snatch him up so fast, but it isn't. His cerebral palsy is mild and he only had $10 in his fund! So now I'm Kurt's guardian angel. I'm committed to praying for him and helping him find his family. The kids are praying for their "little brother". I know his mama is out there, she just needs to see him!my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-27596211523102096812012-05-18T22:59:00.001-07:002012-05-18T22:59:06.341-07:00The Beat Goes OnSchool is nearly finished, for all of us. #1 & I have been done for a week now & the rest of the minions will finish this coming Thursday. It is SUCH a relief for me to be finished, an enormous weight has been lifted. While I didn't do nearly as well as I would have liked, I did make it. There is the temptation to get down on myself for my grades, but that quickly flees when I look back at all that has happened this semester. If I hadn't lived it, I would think it was made up. <br />
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I did not get the NFP job, but God is so good, because He takes care of me so perfectly. I said before that all I could pray for regarding this job was that His will would be the same as mine. There was another part to that prayer...that if our wills weren't the same that He would make me be okay with it. He did. I don't know how, but He did. When I got the letter that they had hired someone else, I was inexplicably fine with it. But still there was the question, "HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO SURVIVE?!" In another inexplicable series of events my friend, Jenny, introduced me to <a href="https://www.juiceplus.com/nsa/content/Home.soa?site=mb88105" target="_blank">Juice Plus+</a>. The bottom line is that #1 & I joined the team and are now sharing it with...well...everyone. I am impressed with the product, I'm impressed with the company and am IMPRESSED with their Child Health Study, in which an adult who buys the product can get it for a child...for free. I'm still floored by the fact that this company cares enough about kids that they will bend over backward for them to get it. I hadn't been interested in a direct marketing type job, because, well, I NEED A REGULAR PAYCHECK. But the pieces fell into place and I have peace about it. It really is God thing & now the prayer is that I'll be able to help people by sharing this product & be able to (SOON) bring in enough money that we can survive...don't need to get rich, just support my kiddos. <br />
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Part of the reason that Juice Plus+ is the path I'm pursuing is that DM's mom has cancer and needs to be taken care of. She is doing well right now on palliative care with hospice, but really shouldn't be left alone for too long. She wants to be at home, but doesn't believe she needs caregivers. DM isn't capable of taking care of arranging her care and the friend that has been doing it really needs to get on with her own life. So it falls to me. If I have a traditional job, I won't be able to be there as much. With Juice Plus+, I'll be able to still "work" while taking care of her at the same time. I want to do it, but it is so very difficult, what with her being
furious that I'm separated from her darling son and the fact that our
communication difficulties have not improved with said separation.<br />
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With that being said, I am so looking forward to summer and playing with my kids.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-37798311456378954662012-04-11T01:35:00.003-07:002012-04-11T02:06:28.774-07:00Happy Easter!This Lent has been a flurry of activity. With my mom passing away, MIL in the hospital with cancer, school work, etc., I've been somewhat of a mad woman. But something amazing has come from my Lenten journey.<br /><br />My dear friend, Leila<a href="http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/"> (who has the F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. blog)</a>, started talking about <span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/">Reece's Rainbow</a>, as a suggestion for Lenten alms giving. In the process she has stirred up our community to pray & advocate for & (for some of us) to adopt. She has even started a <a href="http://orphanreport.blogspot.com/">new blog</a> to help these orphans! I read the story about<a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/33477/samuel"> Samuel</a> today & was overjoyed to find that a family is working furiously to bring him home. I fell in love with him & so wanted to be able to bring him here, even tho that is impossible on so many fronts. It cracks me up that while other women may go to the spa, scrapbook, or do the full on soccer mom thing, my circle of friends is collecting orphans & helping, in whatever way they can, to bring them home to families! God is so amazing! AND my good friends, the Smiths, are in the process of adopting <a href="http://ourfamilysmith.blogspot.com/">Malcom</a>! I can't wait to meet him.<br />On another front, I have an interview on Monday for a part-time job in the<a href="http://www.phxnfp.org/"> Natural Family Planning</a> office. It would be perfect, I want it so very badly, that I can't simply pray for God's will to be done, but that His will matches mine. I've got my mom advocating for me up in heaven. If His will doesn't mesh with mine, I'm praying He will help me to accept it graciously & without whining about it. I find it fascinating that this position opened up shortly after mom died, as she was a founding member of NFP & it's first director. So pray!! Please pray tons! I need a job now and would rather it be something I was made for & love than just a job.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-52690506052565696352012-02-24T23:37:00.002-07:002012-02-24T23:54:03.987-07:00Iiiiittttssss.....lllleeennnnnnnt!With the advent of "priest boy" has come a development that I had not anticipated. The increased "spirituality" of our household. Every last one of us, to one degree or another, has grown in the past few months. It is really awesome.<br /><br />What has been going on with me has been, unexpected. The past several years of my life have been pretty difficult & I've haven't been able to bring myself to really do anything for lent. My life is difficult and sacrificial enough, I just didn't have it in me to add to it. This year, however I was itching for it to start. My life hasn't gotten any easier, but there is just so much to pray & sacrifice for and, apparently, I'm up for it.<br /><br />On another note, I've started a new blog, just for my <a href="http://mabphotoart.blogspot.com/">pictures & projects</a> done in my classes.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-16662292170009028602012-01-11T16:21:00.002-07:002012-01-11T16:55:39.965-07:00Raising Future DelinquentsSince #1 has been telling people about his future in the seminary, I've had a number of reactions. Most have been overwhelmingly positive. As a rule, I don't usually get negative reactions from people about much of anything, I don't know why it is, but it is. The worst have been raised eyebrows and a "That's nice?" I just beam and say, why yes it is! The reaction that has surprised me the most has been, "You must be a great mother!!!" While I try my best to be a good mom, I have so very many shortcomings that glare at me all the time. I guide my kids as best I can, but his vocation is totally a God thing. Just to show that I'm not going to be canonized any time soon, I offer this little glimpse into our lives.<br />One night this week, homework was finished and a minion asked if I knew how to pick locks. I wiggled my eyebrows mysteriously and said "Maybe." This set off a whirlwind of shouting & begging. "I knew you knew how!" "Teach me, Mom." and "Pleasepleasepleaseplease showmehowtodoit!" I tried to redirect, we needed to get ready for bed. No dice, the Minions were in full frenzy. #2 looked me in the eye and said "Mom, what if it was the zombie apocalypse, we were all locked in a room and you were passed out? Would you want to die because you never taught us to pick locks?!" How could I argue with that logic? I looked at the doors in the house, only the bathroom door has the hole allowing it to be picked. I thought, this isn't so bad, how much havoc could they wreak? Note to self:<span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"> Never ask that question in this house</span>. I locked the bathroom door, straightened a bobby pin and proceeded to unlock it. The Minions were wild with glee. I guided each one in turn in the magical process. They all did it, with varying levels of ease. It then was decided that the bathroom must always remain locked. If one wants to use the facilities, one must earn one's entrance. When I mentioned that might not be a good idea, what if, for instance, someone had a bathroom emergency? #1 replied "That is a good opportunity to learn how to function under pressure. If someone needs to use the bathroom, they will have to calm themselves and unlock it." <br />What followed was a day & a half of cursing at the bathroom door and lots of giggling. I've put an end to that new rule.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-10635284848533121542012-01-10T19:29:00.004-07:002012-01-10T20:21:57.559-07:00Best Christmas Gift...Tears!As a child I always loved God. I remember understanding the Real Presence at a very young age, having a devotion to the Rosary and an appreciation for the Church. In my early twenties I really began to learn my faith and fell deeply in love. There were many, many years that God & I were really tight. I felt his presence with me all the time. There were so many times during the day that I would be moved to tears by His power and majesty and goodness. I learned that there were many saints that suffered years of spiritual dryness. I felt so sorry for them. My faith wasn't based on feelings, yet how sad it must be to not feel His presence, for faith and the practice thereof to be a purely intellectual pursuit, largely an act of the will.<br />And then it was all taken away. My tears were gone. It wasn't for a lack of belief, or prayer, or love at all, I was still doing everything I always had, the "feeling" was just sucked out of me. I kept soldiering on. Even thanking God for this opportunity to suffer for Him. As weeks and months grew into years prayer became increasingly difficult. It "felt" like I was just flapping my lips (something that I'm so very good at) for no real purpose. I taught my children about God's love and the fact that He is always with us and is waiting for us always to talk to Him. Though I know it is true, the words seemed hollow. I even prayed occasionally for the feeling to come back, to no avail. I eventually accepted it as my lot in life, noting that I was in the company of some of the greatest saints was small comfort.<br />In the good and the bad my faith never waived, it was just so very, very dry. In the past couple years, which have been so very difficult, my active prayer has increased, so I assumed that the feelings would come rushing back...not! God's goodness has been so evident in our lives, He has taken perfect care of us, but still no tears, for good or bad.<br />#1 is now actively discerning his vocation. God has been chasing him down all his life and he has gone back and forth as to what he wants to do. Sometimes he has been drawn to the priesthood, but he wants to be married and have a family. A couple months ago he met with Fr. Paul Sullivan about discernment and he has been doing the things he advised. He is so much more content now than he ever has been in his life. There is a peace about him that is amazing. On Christmas Day #1 told me that he is going in the seminary. He and God had a talk about it during Mass and this is what he needs to do. <br />And the flood gates opened.<br />It wasn't immediate, the boy dropped this news on me as we were walking in to the movie theater to watch Puss in Boots! But God is back, I feel Him all around me again, I get teary eyed over the least little thing. Now I do realize that this is a new thing and may not last, but I am so very grateful for it and will savor it as long as it lasts. The tears are as big a miracle for me as my boy wanting to be a priest.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-43141904401001665052012-01-08T22:50:00.000-07:002012-01-08T22:51:16.887-07:00Back in the Saddle?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">Why is it so hard to write?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are so many things I want to write about, but I don’t.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It is so much easier to veg out playing stupid, meaningless games. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They aren’t even that much fun, just brain sucking time wasters. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Why?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Maybe it is because there are so many big things that occupy my mind most of the time that it is just so nice to be able to turn it off with the games. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>More likely it is the procrastinator’s deadly trap.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I’ll just play for a little bit, the games don’t take that long. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The writing or whatever is going to take a lot of time & thought, so I will wait until I have the time to do it. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Unfortunately I will not have the time to do it…I need to make the time. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And there is the rub, the making of time.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>That is something I haven’t done in quite some time and desperately need to start again. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Flylady really worked for me once.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>At a time when my health, physical and mental, was very bad I used the Flylady methods with great success. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>My house and my life ran so much more smoothly than ever before, or since. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I will get back at it.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Since the kids have school this week and Joshie & I don’t start until next week, I’m going to use the time to routines set up and begin to purge the crap from my house. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When DM lost the house last May and subsequently moved all the crap from his house here, I’ve sort of lost the will to deal with it. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Seven months of despair & denial is wwwaaaaayyyy to long.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It ends now.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>My putting it on here is a desperate bid for accountability.</p>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-48845326284537562342012-01-02T01:57:00.002-07:002012-01-02T02:13:42.983-07:00Happy New YearNew year...might I blog more/again? We'll see. It sounds like a nice idea tho. <br /><br />I'm just stopping in right now to say how much I love my kids. Every single one of them has done something in the last week that has made me outrageously happy/proud/in awe of them.<br /><br />The Princess wanting to give away her extra Easy Bake Oven to a poor girl, even after we told her she could take it to a store & trade it in for something else. #3, after having gone to my brother's non-denominational church today, was overheard telling his brother that "They didn't have the Eucharist! Jesus wasn't even there!" (This is not a slam to my brother or his church, but to show that this kid knows, understands & loves what it means to be Catholic.) #2, well it is so late that I don't remember the specific incident, but he is #2. Amazingly resilient, good natured and has made some very good decisions on his own with only gentle suggestions from me. Like his decision to NOT get the 7" blade in the groovy cane he bought. He really did make that decision, much to my shock & incredible relief. It made me so glad to have let him make the decision instead of forbidding it...the dude does have some sense.<br /><br />Then there is #1. He has been actively discerning his vocation for a while now. On Christmas Eve Mass God gave him the gift of an answer. I have never seen my boy more happy and at peace. It was the best Christmas present ever...for me too.<br /><br />So maybe after I sleep I'll write more...or not...we know my track record.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-56299174508152012692011-09-17T16:38:00.002-07:002011-09-17T16:54:47.071-07:00In the new hospitalMart wasn't feeling well last night, so the doc on call had us come in to the ED to make sure everything was okay. We were thinking more along the lines of infection somewhere. Well it wasn't alright. No infection, but his hemoglobin was very low. It dropped from 9 on Monday to 6 on Friday. This is not good. The nephrologist still hasn't come in yet so I have no idea if this kind of drop is bizarre or not. I mean, is this just a toasted kidney issue or could there be a bleeding issue that we are unaware of? The not knowing really rots. He just began the transfusion about 20 minutes ago. It will take 4 hours to complete and then we have to wait an indeterminate period of time before repeating the labs to see how he is doing. So, as far as we know, he will be spending another night here.<br />The ED was a special kind of hell for me. The room we were in was so cold and had hard plastic chairs. My butt was dead within two hours of being there! We wound up collecting nearly a dozen blankets. I wound up scooting my chair over to Mart's bed, putting a pillow on it and laying my head on it. So sitting up resting my head on his bed. The reason it is a special kind of hell is because that was the only way I could sleep when I had cardiomyopathy. I couldn't breathe well at all, but especially not while laying down. Last night brought back some really unfriendly memories that had been buried for a good long time.<br />Well, the boy is sleeping in a Benadryll haze and I have to do homework.<br />The upside is that the new tower is awesome. All the rooms are private, big and beautiful. The chair bed is relatively comfy and I'm allowed to use the bathroom. The nurses are nice and know their stuff.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-73206472678765610972011-08-26T08:59:00.002-07:002011-08-26T09:13:01.291-07:00I Are A College StudentSince I lost my job in February, and haven't found another yet, I enrolled in Scottsdale Community College. While it is scary, I know that this is what I need to be doing. With most of the first week of classes under my belt, I am really excited. The classes I'm taking, however, do not appear to be that taxing. While this is a good thing for my first semester, especially with the life I have, it feels rather silly. I tested very poorly in math, so am starting at the beginning. All the minions, especially #3, like to remind me that they are in more advanced math classes than me. I'm taking yoga, which is really important for ME, not a mentally challenging class. I'm excited for Spanish. In the past six months it has become glaringly apparent that being bilingual is not just a bonus, but a necessity. Then there is "Strategies for College Success". While the book looks good, the class has mostly been touchy-<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">feely</span>, awkward icebreaker, kindergarten level activities. Today is my graphic art class...I'M SO JAZZED!
<br />The thing I've been pondering, especially with <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Veritas</span> curriculum nights this week, is how to give myself a <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Veritas</span> education, even though the classes I'm taking are relatively...<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">meh</span>. I'm thinking it hinges on a phrase that drives all the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">Veritas</span> minions crazy: SENSE OF WONDER. This will be the key to my getting everything I possibly can in school. To foster that in all areas and really dig deep to maintain it, even if I think some of the things we do are boring or silly. Thankfully I've been gifted with a childlike(<span id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" class="blsp-spelling-error">ish</span>) sense of wonder in life as it is.
<br />Here I go!
<br />my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-19156299444952232112011-08-24T01:04:00.003-07:002011-08-24T01:15:17.462-07:00This is only a test<div>I have school in the morning, and still I can't sleep.</div>
<br /><div>Since it had been so long since I updated this thing, when I posted the other day I was surprised that it came up on FB as a "note". And not a link to my blog. While this is a rather silly peeve, I decided to see if I could correct it. This post is the test to see if I was successful. </div>
<br /><div>Joshie and Mart have a blood test to see if Joshie's kidney would play nice inside Mart's body. THAT is a post for another time.</div>
<br /><div>School rocks. I can't wait to actually learn something. I'm pondering how I could create a Veritas type education for myself while taking relatively banal classes at SCC. "Sense of Wonder" keeps coming to mind<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rhap8CMTMfM/TlSyKIokG2I/AAAAAAAAAM4/36WcHrGbKrc/s1600/090.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 150px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5644332120188132194" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rhap8CMTMfM/TlSyKIokG2I/AAAAAAAAAM4/36WcHrGbKrc/s200/090.JPG" /></a>.</div>
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<br /><div>Just for the sheer randomness of it, here is a picture of me riding the Sky Cycle at the Arizona Science Center. It was S O M U C H F U N!!!!!</div>
<br />my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-15944242137881928612011-08-20T20:24:00.001-07:002011-08-20T20:27:17.942-07:00Life Moves Pretty Fast“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it.” Ferris Bueller
<br />My life moves so fast. DM and I have been separated for quite some time now. The kids and I have moved three times, #2 went on dialysis, and I lost my job in February. #2 is now on the transplant list, tho’ at this point he has 99% antibodies (not a good thing). It is only by the grace of God that we are surviving financially.
<br />My kids help me stop and look around all the time. Without them I would be in the funny farm. We really do have such fun together.
<br />Now, I’m starting school in two days. I’ve worked really hard to find a job to no avail. This whole school thing just fell into my lap, classes came together & financial aid is paying for all of it. I’m taking that as a sign that this is God’s will for me and am just doing it. I’m mostly excited and a little nervous. I love the fact that #1 and I will be at the same school. We even have a friendly wager as to who will have the better gpa at the semester. The loser will take the winner to a dinner of her choice. (Yes her choice…I’m going to win, you see.) He does remind me constantly that his classes are “more legit” than mine. If there is a tie…he wins the bet as he is taking calculus to my basic math.
<br />So things are constantly changing and moving ever faster. I have the feeling that my life is about to become an episode of “Community”.
<br />my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-52129661987156560482011-03-17T22:18:00.006-07:002011-03-17T23:00:28.904-07:00There are good things about dialysisThe first, and most obvious, is that my son is, well, alive and for the most part, not sick. <div><br /><div>After that the benefits are more esoteric. I am, albeit slowly, becoming more organized. This is not a good night that I go gently into. But I am on top of the whole process, supplies, diet, etc.</div><br /><div>The best of all, though, is my relationship with #2. There is a gentleness and soft side to him now that was not always in the forefront. Of my 4 kids he has always been the most solitary, least cuddly kid. He's always been a joy, but he keeps so much inside. He still does. But we have gotten to spend an inordinate amount of alone time together. Hospital visits notwithstanding, I spend about an hour in his room getting him hooked up to the dialysis machine. Every. Single. Night. While he isn't always in there for the whole process, he is for a good bit of it. I noticed a couple months ago that when I finish up he usually offers a "Thanks Mom, I love you." Not that he never said that before, but it is becoming a regular thing...initiated by him. He has a TV in his room, and so he watches his shows while I get things set up. It has been a bonding opportunity to be interested in the shows he likes. We have developed a routine for Emergency Department visits that have made such excruciating experiences bearable. The thing we do is read hyperboleandahalf.com during the waits. This lady is absolutely crazy and her twisted, twisted sense of humor is right up our alley. So, we check in to the ED and pull out my phone. We pull up Allie's blog and take turns reading it to each other. We wind up giggling hysterically and get funny looks from other inmates as well as wardens. Last night, after they determined that, no, he did not need immediate hernia surgery and we could go home, we had to wait an inordinate amount of time for them to complete our paperwork so we could go home. We got one of the igloo rooms, last night we would have preferred<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hjz_t89GOu8/TYLxzZZJPfI/AAAAAAAAAMk/4k81Wmbg_4k/s1600/hospital%2B2.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585292353184808434" border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hjz_t89GOu8/TYLxzZZJPfI/AAAAAAAAAMk/4k81Wmbg_4k/s200/hospital%2B2.jpg" /></a> a death valley room. The ED was extremely busy (before getting us in a room we got to wait in the "non-bugger-y waiting room ), but we soon tired of freezing. #2 found a sheet to warm him up (?!) and decided to do this: </div><br /><div></div><div>This was the view from the hallway: </div><div> </div><div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5585292858886596994" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-i0Tt89iH22A/TYLyQ1R2KYI/AAAAAAAAAMs/YG0aRzg-bjI/s200/hospital%2B1.jpg" /></div><div> </div><div>It's not really surprising that we were released shortly thereafter.</div><div>So, dialysis has really given us opportunities that would not have presented themselves otherwise.</div></div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-90839478734835479432011-03-02T09:12:00.002-07:002011-03-02T09:21:02.426-07:00I'm backLife has changed dramatically. Martin is on dialysis and I have now lost my job. Maneuvering life unemployed with 4 kids is...interesting. I know God will take care of us, he always does. It is just all so uncertain. I need to find my funny again. At least being a vagabond has enabled me to spend more time with the kids. I'm in the process of getting official assistant track coach status. While folding laundry while watching Stripes the other day, I was thinking that the only way life could get any better is if I were being paid for it.<br />I may add a blog about dialysis...there is so much. I can't decide if I want to create a different one, or just leave it on here. The social experiment seems to have been a failure, at least a failure when viewed through the lens of my current status. I don't know.<br />Enough rambling. I've got an appointment with a man about a resume. I know that God has the perfect job for me out there...I wish he'd produce it now.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-63017529827741789842010-06-03T19:59:00.003-07:002010-06-04T09:28:33.833-07:00How to spend a ThursdayWhile sitting in McDonald's Mart & I were having "story hour". I started reading my favoritist blogging idol, Wendi Aarons. I started reading to him, he begged me to keep reading. We must have read 5-6 posts. When we finished <a href="http://wendiaarons.com/2010/05/hoo-rah-its-booty-camp-time-again.html">this</a> we were nearly late to pick up Sebass. Check it out, it's a good one.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-82224059223718193492010-06-03T15:54:00.000-07:002010-06-03T15:56:41.688-07:00Parental FunI was going to call this The Joys of Being a Good Parent, but think that there would be at least one Minion with a retort at calling myself “good” at this point.<br />#1 is a good boy. A very good boy. He has really avoided most of the teen angst & bad behavior, up to this point. Since “being in a relationship” (by the updating of a FaceBook status) he has become increasingly douchebaggy moody. Everyday he finds his siblings to be exponentially more irritating, but one IS a tween and they should be locked in a closet till their voice changes. Any place is better than being at home, or so it would seem. <br />What follows is the textversation we had yesterday when I requested that he pick me up from the bus & take me to his grandpa’s house, so I could borrow a car. <br /><br />Me: Please come pick me up and take me to borrow Danggad’s truck.<br />#1: wait why cant danggad pick u up<br />Me: Why don’t you call him & find out?<br />#1: ho ho wichmeans.youhave and he said no<br />Me: No, he suggested you bring me over.<br />#1: well linda hasn’t been feeling good i’m not pissed just irked.<br /><br />When the precious darling picked me up I asked him if he cared to hear my opinion of the fact that he was just irked. He hastily explained that that wasn’t a threat, just that he likes to know what to expect, not have things sprung on him, so he was informing me of his mood.<br />All I did was look at him. That was all that was necessary. This happened to be the child who, just that morning, informed me that it was the last day for him to fulfill a requirement, so would have to stay after school. And BTW, the sports banquet was also that evening. Hence the need to borrow my dad's car.<br />He understood the inconsistency between his words and actions.<br />At least he is a <strong>reasonable,</strong> irritating, egomaniacal teenager.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-35968651399940544692010-05-07T10:05:00.003-07:002010-05-07T10:15:41.519-07:00<div>A very wise woman *Hi Toni!!!* mentioned to me today that blogging again might be a good, cathartic activity for me. She pointed out that I don't <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">necessarily</span> need to wait for inspiration to strike me with something amazing & hysterical, because, well, no one reads this anyway. (That last bit was mine) That maybe I should put something...anything. So here is anything. </div><div> </div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 149px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5468577467451227298" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/S-RKO54ivKI/AAAAAAAAALs/TZN6koTOFkM/s200/clouds-for-blog.jpg" /><br /><div>Those are groovy, monsoon clouds that I shot from the roof of my house, cause that's how I roll. Gotta do a transcription now...when life is slow in desktop, I become a word processor!</div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-48436772449694970522010-04-29T12:50:00.002-07:002010-04-29T12:53:08.639-07:00<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I’m shocked by how long it has been since I’ve blogged. </span><br /><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">There have been two impediments:<br /></span></p><ul><li><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I refuse to blog anything that is truly bad and/or serious in my life.<br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Not having the time to rub two brain cells together.</span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Issue the first:</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The minions & I are residing in a different abode from DM. This has been a difficult time & not one I want preserved for posterity…publicly, at least. We are doing well, things are beginning to look up, blah, blah, blah. Not a whole lot of blog-fodder at home.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Issue the second: </span></p><p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">I am working full time and have been SWAMPED with work of late. I’m now a “single” mom of 4, count them 4, kids, 3 of whom have extra curricular activities. Not a whole lot of time for blogging.<br /><br />Now, there have been NUMEROUS blog-worthy events in the past six months. Now that work has slowed up a bit, I’ll see if I can dredge some up.</span></p>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-46602064257307601852009-10-17T09:59:00.000-07:002009-10-17T10:00:04.486-07:00Implosion<div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/Stn4Eq9lxMI/AAAAAAAAALk/0eO2TvJ0FyA/s1600-h/Implosion+025.jpg"><img border="0" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/Stn4Eq9lxMI/AAAAAAAAALk/0eO2TvJ0FyA/s400/Implosion+025.jpg" /></a> </div>A few weeks ago we found out that this building was scheduled to be imploded. We wound up going downtown to watch it. It was so hot, but we really didn't care. It was so worth it when we got to see it blow.<div style='clear:both; text-align:CENTER'><a href='http://picasa.google.com/blogger/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif' alt='Posted by Picasa' style='border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;' align='middle' border='0' /></a></div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-46588837401399447802009-09-16T11:28:00.003-07:002009-09-16T11:29:32.994-07:00Another Wordless<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/SrEugBVAGqI/AAAAAAAAALc/r7-hEigKfAw/s1600-h/Warriors-action-blur.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382134157331667618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/SrEugBVAGqI/AAAAAAAAALc/r7-hEigKfAw/s400/Warriors-action-blur.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-73206439010238069812009-09-16T11:17:00.002-07:002009-09-16T11:27:40.004-07:00Some Days are Good Mom DaysBeing a mom is hard and most of the time it is thankless & I feel like a failure. Then there are days like yesterday.<br />#1 needed to be picked up from tutoring, which he went to on his own volition <span style="color:#33ff33;">*hooray boy!*,</span> at 4:00. I arrived a bit early so decided to find some of #2’s teachers to <strike>check up on the little bugger </strike>say hi. While walking along the 2nd floor I spotted #1 at a table with some friends. When he saw me a look of astonishment came over his face and the conversation went something like this:<br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">What are YOU doing here?<br /></span><span style="color:#003300;">Picking you up. What are you doing OUTSIDE?<br /></span><span style="color:#cc0000;">Tutoring is over. I thought Papa was picking me up.</span><br /><span style="color:#003300;">You thought wrong. Be with you in a minute.</span><br />I went in to talk to #2’s art teacher. Though the boy is doing well, he still doesn’t think that all homework applies to him. When I got back to the car #1 told me that my “cool mom legacy” continues. Apparently his friends were amazed by our conversation. I replied that I didn’t even speak to them or do anything cool. I guess their conversations with their maternal units are more <strike>stuffy</strike> formal. I learned that all people don’t talk to their kids as if they were, well, people. That just made my day.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-19037076487248425052009-07-08T08:40:00.003-07:002009-07-08T08:44:43.424-07:00Wordless WednesdayI've seen this Wordless Wednesday thing on many blogs of late & have decided to be a shameless copycat. While hiking last week I realized, while looking back on the trail & all the hikers, that we looked like a bunch of ants. Unfortunately the picture didn't come out at all like what my eyes saw...so I played with it.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356115524057690706" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/SlS-sPNp8lI/AAAAAAAAALU/9orO429OqF0/s400/ants.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div></div><div>So much for wordless, eh?</div><br /><div></div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-2020997506953968312009-07-01T10:29:00.001-07:002009-07-01T10:31:46.712-07:00The Intoxication of Bra ShoppingSince I entered this little piece to a contest, DM is referred to as Joseph.<br /><br />I woke up at 6:30 on a Saturday morning with a Mimosa under my nose. “Drink this, we’re going bra shopping.”<br />Bra shopping is no fun. Bra shopping when you are a 36 DDD is as entertaining as cleaning a public restroom with a toothbrush. After seventeen years of marriage, my husband Joseph has finally realized that the only way for me to go bra shopping is if I’m nicely potted.<br />“Drink up. There’s a door buster.” <br />A half hour later, I’m on the hunt, stumbling off to find my quarry. I was confident! I was empowered! I was sloshed. The bras in my cup size are generally located on the lowest racks since the weight of these babies apparently makes us hunch over anyway. I scooped up a half dozen while doing my Quasimodo, blearily apologizing to every rack I toppled on my way to the dressing room. <br />In that confined space, I realized that the temperature was ten degrees warmer than the rest of the store. Uncomfortable and sweating and I hadn’t tried anything on yet! After squeezing, shimmying, twisting and struggling into those contraptions, I felt like I’d been in a sauna. I tried out a sports bra and felt like I was all set for a mammogram. Removing it took five minutes and had me spinning like a break-dancer and bumping into the door causing the attendant to see if I needed help. <br />“Sssaalrite!” I replied as the bra finally broke free with a THWAP. She never came back.<br />My cell phone chirped and I dug it out of my pocket to discover Joseph had sent me pictures of several mannequins wearing bras that I couldn’t have worn after my first month of puberty. With a giggle, I fought my way into a pushup model that made me look like I was auditioning for a part in an opera, held out my phone, snapped a shot and sent it to him.<br />I immediately had the sort of second thoughts that freeze heart, soul and brain into a single icy column. What had I just done? Had I even sent it to the right number?<br />Choosing two bras more or less at random, I burst out of the stall, shoved them at Joseph and stumbled away without a look back. I’d lost five pounds of water weight along with untold brain cells. I lay on the wall outside the store. The clouds were so pretty, birds singing so cheerfully that I was thinking that maybe bra shopping wasn’t so bad after all. Then I fell off the wall…into the bushes…<br />Joseph appeared over me, cell phone in hand, and called me a silly drunk.my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7470850045887241438.post-68513668867313205102009-06-29T11:21:00.004-07:002009-06-29T11:37:14.544-07:00To hike or not to hike...<div>I don’t want to pull on the reins! I love what I’m doing now & don’t want to slow down. It has taken so many years to become this active, to find something that really works for me…and now I have to pull back and reassess?!? WTF?! </div><div><br /><a href="http://bewelladjusted.com/">Doc</a> is amazing. I love her and am amazed and more grateful than I can express for her guidance and the progress I have made under her care. In the nearly 2 years that I’ve been her patient, I have made so much more progress than in the entire previous 20 years. My ankle has less pain & ever so much more mobility. I have lost 40+ pounds, quit smoking and discovered this gluten thing that has really alleviated the anxiety crap. I’m going hiking 3 times a week and doing (minimal) strength training. Because of the mobility issue, I can’t run and walking just doesn’t get my heart rate up enough anymore. Climbing mountains, tho is great exercise for me, the incline REALLY gets my heart rate going! Besides I love it. Being outside, the desert, time with my kids, doing something that I nearly thought I would never do again, all of it. I’m so happy that I’ve finally gotten this exercise routine down & it is going so well.<br />Today Doc tells me that I am at the point in my progress where I can progress further or set myself up for major injury, and that this is a very fine line. Intellectually I understand this, but what I’d really like to do is lay on the floor & scream & kick. She wants me to brainstorm, reassess and come up with a plan that will respect my ankle more. I know why she won’t tell me what to do. It will mean more to me to research and come up with my own plan. This is how I’m trying to raise my own kids…but DAMN it sucks…it is so much work!<br />When I was a little girl I couldn’t wait to grow up, be my own boss & get to do whatever I wanted. I hated having people tell me what to do.<a href="http://despair.com/priorities.html"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5352819072004806274" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 143px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Y1znKD8lq0A/SkkIleXIVoI/AAAAAAAAALM/aTnJHfLwAwA/s200/priorities.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div><br />MORON</div><div> </div><div>This little demotivator really fits me.</div><div>But I won't let my craziness compromise my ankle.</div>my4kidsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12896674952405356652noreply@blogger.com0