Monday, April 13, 2009

Light Grocery Store Reading

DM wanted to go to Sprouts early Saturday morning for their Easter egg hunt. Why this was important, I'm really not sure. The best part about it was the weather. Cold, grey and rainy...perfect weather for only one day! The hunt for kids ages 0-5 was to start at 7:45. AM. Yes, the morning. Even though we only live about 10 minutes away we had to get up at 6:15 to get ready.
Why, you ask? Because Driven Man was driving this bus. One wouldn't want to be *gasp* late for an egg hunt at Sprouts! The world as we know it would come to a screeching halt. Dogs and cats would begin living anarchy would ensue. The Princess was awakened and of course she was interested, she's 5, a girl and, well, all her brain cells are not yet fully formed. If she were 40 and had this mental capacity she would be referred to as retarded. I was commanded to go since this was a "bonding experience" for the Princess and her parents.

I am evil, I know, I just couldn't walk out of the house and leave my minions sleeping. 3 blissfully slumbering boys in a nice warm house while I have to be up and attempt to be cheerful? JUST PLAIN WRONG. I asked the Princess if she wanted her brothers to go. She seemed hesitant, but said she wanted one. I burst into their room asking for a brother representative. After the moaning and writhing ceased, #1 said he would do it. I was shocked really, it wasn't that difficult to convince much for my fun. We picked up Wawa...why? Because nothing says Forced Family Fun like pre-dawn grocery shopping with Grandma!
We arrived at Sprouts, which is probably my favorite store right now, around 7:25. There were almost no cars in the lot. DM didn't know if the hunt was inside or outside, maybe they cancelled it because of the weather! I said (stupidly) "There are people inside". You say it, you check it, is the DM motto. I got out of the car, because apparently I don't have many more functioning brain cells than the Princess. There was a cute blonde cashier dressed as a bunny and they were putting up balloons and placing plastic eggs all over the store. IN PLAIN VIEW! There was really no attempt made to actually hide the eggs. I returned to the car with the recon report and Wawa, the Princess and #1 got out. We STOOD IN FRONT OF THE STORE waiting for it to open. While waiting in line, freezing my tuckus off, I realized we were missing someone...a particularly vital someone...the sumbich who was responsible for all of us being there! DM was in the car getting himself a little ole beauty nap. I glided over to the van (stormed), sweetly asked (growled) what he was doing, and asked kindly (demanded) that he join us (get his ass out of the car). A pregnant woman with a 3 year old spotted us & GOT IN LINE! The manager (in the background of the photo) poked his head out the door and said they will be opening in a few minutes. More "customers" arrived to wait in line behind us. Think Grapes of Wrath meets Black Friday. Boy were we a motley crew.
When they finally opened the doors, we were informed that the kids should only take 5 eggs each, so there would be plenty for everyone. It took the Princess all of 30 seconds to get her eggs and then put enough back so she only had 5.

The best part of the whole event was looking up and seeing #1 reading the Communist Manifesto. The irony was lost on him. If you look closely at the picture, you can read the title...I couldn't make this stuff up!
Posted by Picasa

No comments: