The associate that I am currently working for is at my desk looking through her mail. This lady is awesome, very un-attorney like. At a party we had she would rather play with the kids that were there than mingle with co-workers. My kind of people...anyway, on with the humiliation.
We are talking and going through mail, I'm looking down and OUT OF NOWHERE I FART!!! I am the queen of the SBD and if I let one of those go, I could pretend not to notice it or blame the secretary next to me. This was loud. Nothing ground shaking or gross, but a nice resounding TOOT.
What to do? How do I downplay this? Yes, I'm with ubercoolattorneylady but geesh! I AM NOT A BOY!!! I AM NOT MY MOTHER!!! Or my grandmother for that matter. I CANNOT be proud of what I just did! It was too noticeable for me to ignore tho'. We both looked up at each other at the same time. She asked, "Was that..?" I just nodded, I could tell I was starting to turn red & put my head down on my desk, willing myself not to blush. When one blushes one just makes matters that much worse. We were just giggling and giggling. She kept stammering, "...I can't believe it...you made my day..." As she walked back to her office, shoulders still shaking, she said, "It is nice to know that everyone is human."
That it is. Laughing is good, laughing at yourself is even better. When I post this I will be sending her this little tidbit that someone sent me...very appropriate:
- A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price!!'