Monday, March 10, 2008

These people have no pulse!

I work in the morgue.

You've heard me say it before, but I don't think you can comprehend the bone deep truth of that title.

A couple of weeks ago, DM had purchased rubber cockroaches and hid them all over the house. When I went to the bathroom, one lept out of the toilet paper holder. One was sitting on the crockpot covered with a cup. Another was in the soap scrunchy when I showered. My wallet, etc.

I decided that I could have a little fun with them too. My desk sits at the end of a hallway and I can see anyone coming and going from the women's bathroom, copy room and galley. Around 10 a.m. I took one of the revolting little suckers and put it in the cup dispenser. It is the kind with horizontal cup dispensers, you pull one out and the next one pops into place. I placed it on top of the cup in the top dispenser, so that the next person to take a cup would have it spring out at them.

Then I waited.

Nothing happened for quite a while. People kept coming and going, but there was no indication of anything awry. Right before lunch two men, that I had never seen before, left the galley giggling slightly. When they were gone I had to check. It was laying in plain view on the counter next to the soda machine. I was so pleased, the fun was about to begin! Or so I thought. When I came back from lunch it was still sitting in the same spot. For the next three hours I observed multitudes of people going in and out of that room without any reaction whatsoever!!!!! Not a squeak, shudder, scream or even a glance back over their shoulder on the way out the door. NOTHING!!!!!! I did check a couple of times and it was still in the same spot on the counter. At 4:30 a lady that I really like went into the galley, I figured that she would have some reaction. NOTHING!! When she left I did another check and it was still there. As I left at 5 it was finally gone.

I do not understand these people! They really are dead! I am ready to chew my own arm off! My mind is turning to jello. I'm thinking about faking a seizure in the middle of the hallway to see if anyone would notice.

The good news is that, while writing this, I overheard people saying that a new secretary has been hired for the attorney du jure. She will start in two weeks! Hopefully I will go to a different floor soon!

1 comment:

jennifer said...

Wow. Wow. I cannot imagine that! And I thought my days were dull.