My Flying Experience

On January 4, 2008 I went, with my family & Dad, to SkyVentures Arizona. Here is the view of the area around there:

It was a nice drive, took about 1 1/2 hours. The kids all slept. When we got down there we saw some parachutists. They just appeared out of the sky when their shutes opened. It was almost hard to go in the building to sign in, because watching them was such fun.

Now, the thing you must understand is that DM had gotten me a gift certificate. He had come down previously and paid $80 for the deluxe package. When looking for the gift certificate the night before, we couldn't find it!!!!! Yes, that's right, it was no where to be found. All we can think is that the kids had grabbed the envelope while cleaning up & it got thrown away. Since I had made the reservation, even if we didn't show up, we would still have to pay, so we went. When we got there we begged the lady to look up our names & she found it, so it didn't cost us any more $.

We went up the stairs and into the building with the wind tunnel. There were employees in it, so we watched them for a while.

I tell you, I felt like a little kid at a birthday party. When it's time to open presents all the other kids rush in as close as possible to watch. Yep, that was me. Whenever one of the guys went in to show off, I was there with my nose pressed to the glass. It was so cool!!! They stepped in and would shoot to the top of the 14' tunnel, then dive back down. They did "Matrix" moves, turned upside down then spin on their heads like gravity defying break dancers. It was amazing and I want to learn how to do it.

Once everyone was there, our instructor took us in the classroom and showed us a video on how to fly. They showed us the position we were to be in and the hand signals that would be used to help us adjust while flying. We then had to get on a little table and demonstrate that we knew how to do the position. Then they gave us our gear. We got an attractive suit like you see above, knee and elbow pads, ear plugs and goggles. Then we went into what was the "holding tank" to take turns flying. Here is a picture of me waiting my turn. Pretty huh?

The grooviest thing about the goggles was that mine kept fogging up like my face was Manila. Every once in a while I'd pull them out away from my face and let them dry out. The only thing that made me nervous at all was wondering if they'd get all fogged up while I was flying and then I wouldn't be able to see anything. I did wonder if it would be difficult to breathe, but figured it couldn't be too bad if people do it all the time.

Watching everyone else was neat, but I was so anxious to get in there. It seemed like their flights were so short.

Then, in I went. I was flying!!!! I got into position and was flying!! The instructor was in there helping me and having me change the position of my legs to adjust the flight. My glasses didn't fog & it was not hard to breathe. I just floated around in there for what seemed like days. Then he was directing me over to the door since my turn was up.
I was glad too because I was tired. The force of the wind on my body, shoulders especially, was tiring. I remember wondering why my turn seemed so much longer than everyone else's. Then I remembered that I had the deluxe package and my flights were 2 minutes where everyone else had only 1 minute...that would make a difference.

We rotated through and all got our second turns. The next time in I started experimenting on my own with changing the position of my arms and legs. The straighter my legs were the higher I would go, more bent, the lower, till I was almost resting on the mesh bottom. At one point I was about 7 feet up and started spinning and spinning. I was not happy when the instructor stopped me. By the time my time was up I was glad, I was really tired. As the instructor moved me toward the door I reached out (wasn't supposed to do that) and went spinning off away from the door. It was really fun. I can't wait to do it again!!

#3 wants to go flying for his birthday at the end of this month and he will get it. Maybe this time we will shoot some video!

Bodily Functions ARE Funny

I am not an 8-14 year old boy, but today I'm really glad that I live with some. Bodily functions ARE funny. Here is how it went down:

The associate that I am currently working for is at my desk looking through her mail. This lady is awesome, very un-attorney like. At a party we had she would rather play with the kids that were there than mingle with co-workers. My kind of people...anyway, on with the humiliation.
We are talking and going through mail, I'm looking down and OUT OF NOWHERE I FART!!! I am the queen of the SBD and if I let one of those go, I could pretend not to notice it or blame the secretary next to me. This was loud. Nothing ground shaking or gross, but a nice resounding TOOT.

What to do? How do I downplay this? Yes, I'm with ubercoolattorneylady but geesh! I AM NOT A BOY!!! I AM NOT MY MOTHER!!! Or my grandmother for that matter. I CANNOT be proud of what I just did! It was too noticeable for me to ignore tho'. We both looked up at each other at the same time. She asked, "Was that..?" I just nodded, I could tell I was starting to turn red & put my head down on my desk, willing myself not to blush. When one blushes one just makes matters that much worse. We were just giggling and giggling. She kept stammering, "...I can't believe it...you made my day..." As she walked back to her office, shoulders still shaking, she said, "It is nice to know that everyone is human."

That it is. Laughing is good, laughing at yourself is even better. When I post this I will be sending her this little tidbit that someone sent me...very appropriate:

• A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price!!'