There are good things about dialysis

The first, and most obvious, is that my son is, well, alive and for the most part, not sick.

After that the benefits are more esoteric. I am, albeit slowly, becoming more organized. This is not a good night that I go gently into. But I am on top of the whole process, supplies, diet, etc.

The best of all, though, is my relationship with #2. There is a gentleness and soft side to him now that was not always in the forefront. Of my 4 kids he has always been the most solitary, least cuddly kid. He's always been a joy, but he keeps so much inside. He still does. But we have gotten to spend an inordinate amount of alone time together. Hospital visits notwithstanding, I spend about an hour in his room getting him hooked up to the dialysis machine. Every. Single. Night. While he isn't always in there for the whole process, he is for a good bit of it. I noticed a couple months ago that when I finish up he usually offers a "Thanks Mom, I love you." Not that he never said that before, but it is becoming a regular thing...initiated by him. He has a TV in his room, and so he watches his shows while I get things set up. It has been a bonding opportunity to be interested in the shows he likes. We have developed a routine for Emergency Department visits that have made such excruciating experiences bearable. The thing we do is read hyperboleandahalf.com during the waits. This lady is absolutely crazy and her twisted, twisted sense of humor is right up our alley. So, we check in to the ED and pull out my phone. We pull up Allie's blog and take turns reading it to each other. We wind up giggling hysterically and get funny looks from other inmates as well as wardens. Last night, after they determined that, no, he did not need immediate hernia surgery and we could go home, we had to wait an inordinate amount of time for them to complete our paperwork so we could go home. We got one of the igloo rooms, last night we would have preferred a death valley room. The ED was extremely busy (before getting us in a room we got to wait in the "non-bugger-y waiting room ), but we soon tired of freezing. #2 found a sheet to warm him up (?!) and decided to do this:

This was the view from the hallway:

It's not really surprising that we were released shortly thereafter.

So, dialysis has really given us opportunities that would not have presented themselves otherwise.

I'm back

Life has changed dramatically. Martin is on dialysis and I have now lost my job. Maneuvering life unemployed with 4 kids is...interesting. I know God will take care of us, he always does. It is just all so uncertain. I need to find my funny again. At least being a vagabond has enabled me to spend more time with the kids. I'm in the process of getting official assistant track coach status. While folding laundry while watching Stripes the other day, I was thinking that the only way life could get any better is if I were being paid for it.
I may add a blog about dialysis...there is so much. I can't decide if I want to create a different one, or just leave it on here. The social experiment seems to have been a failure, at least a failure when viewed through the lens of my current status. I don't know.
Enough rambling. I've got an appointment with a man about a resume. I know that God has the perfect job for me out there...I wish he'd produce it now.