whah whah whah whah whah

This could also be titled "Driven Man is Charlie Brown's teacher."

It is impossible to talk to Driven Man on the phone. It is not easy to talk to him at all actually, he mumbles. His mother complains that he "eats his words" when he talks. She just may be right.

He likes to wait until I'm on the other side of the house to say something to me. We live in a sardine can, it shouldn't be hard to hear each other, but it is. He speaks just loudly enough that I can tell he is talking to me, but I have no idea what he is saying. When I say, "what" he repeats it exactly the same way. When I still cannot understand him, he repeats again, the only difference would be the level of annyoance in his voice. It then falls to me to stop what I'm doing and go to him to find out what he is saying. Having left the work I was doing I go to him to find out he wanted to inform me of the average wing speed of a swallow.

The other day, while I was driving home, he called me. He had me on speaker phone. This is how the conversation went:

DM: "whah whah whah my mom whah whah whah house?"
Me: "What?"
DM: "whah pick whah mom whah whah whah ...se?"
Me: "I'm sorry honey, what was that?"
DM: (louder & background noise) "Pick up whah whah whah at Auntie Sarah's house?"
We don't have an Auntie Sarah
Me: "I understand that you want me to pick your mom up, but where?"
DM: "whah whah house!"
Me: "Would you please pick up the phone, I can't understand you.
DM: (the Princess is screaming in the background)"I'm cooking dinner."
Me: "Well if you picked up the phone for 10 seconds I would know what you want then you could hang up."
DM: "I'm busy here, just whah whah whah anticara"
Me: "What is an anticara?"
DM: "You know whah whah friends house!"
Me: "I really have no idea what you are talking about!"
DM: "The one whah whah QT!!"
Me: "What about QT?"
DM: "ANTICARA, ANTICARA!!"
Me: "JUST PICK UP THE PHONE!"
DM: "whah whah 40th Street whah whah"
Me: (through clenched teeth) "Do you mean Tita Flor's house?"
DM: "anticara, anticara, yes."
Me: "Fine I'll get her." Click, buzzzzzzzz

It turns out that Tita Flor's last name is something that resembles anticara. Now, I've known her for years & didn't realize that she had a last name. I thought she was like Madonna or Prince or even Brittney.

The very best part of the whole experience is that when I got to "anticara" there was no answer at the door. I rang the bell for a long time to no avail. I went back & called Mom's cell phone...no answer there either. I HAD TO CALL DRIVEN MAN BACK!!!!! He called "anticara's" phone and there was no answer.

After about 15 minutes I called her cell again...they were inside talking...they just didn't hear anything!!!!!!

Names for the Crazy Lady that Carries Her Own Keyboard from Desk to Desk

Microsoft Snob

Obsessive Compulsive

Keyboard Geek

Anal

Keystroke Nerd

Ergonomically Enhanced

Control Freak

Standard Challenged

Just plain pathetic

And this from my dad: Keyboard Retentive