Wow...Weekends now mean so much more to me than they have in 15 years! It used to be that weekends were the time that I didn't have to drive the kids to school or worry about homework. We also got to see Rob't during the day...sometimes. Now, weekends are the time that I don't have to shower first thing in the morning if I don't want to. I don't have to blow dry my hair if it doesn't need it. I don't have to wear make-up. I don't have to be trapped, like a rat in a building. I can go do or not do whatever I want!
Saturday we had planned to go out of town to a picnic area with my whole family. When we woke up Rob't asked me to go check the weather and see what it was like, we wouldn't want to go for our picnic if it was raining. My reply was that I didn't care what the weather was like...I was going! I nearly got a panic attack thinking about cancelling it. I wanted to be outside & run & jump & be free & one with nature. I wanted to see my brother & sister & all the kids, since I don't hardly get to talk to them anymore. We decided not to go out of town, but had a picnic at a park in town. It was so much fun, chillier than we are used to, but welcome with the hell of summer looming on us. I hadn't realized how clausterphobic I had been feeling until that morning. YES I can see out of windows at my office, but that is just a tease. What good is being able to look out when you aren't able to go out?
I didn't wear make-up. I couldn't believe how happy I was not to put it on. For Mass I just wore mascarra & a little lipstick, but the rest of the time it was au natural. Yes, I believe I may be a moron. This morning, as I was washing my face #1 was in there with me. I was grumbling, "gotta wash my face before I gunk it all up again." He was confused, "Don't you mean gunk it up before you wash it?" "No, I'm washing it so I can just gunk it up with makeup." He looked bewildered and walked away. In that respect, I wish I were a man.
Lunch is over...more later.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
*WARNING, DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED!!!*
Please do not read this if you are shy about feminine issues. I have a very embarrassing situation. Nipples. For some odd reason mine are particularly perky. Now this is not a new phenomenon since, BW, I wore T-shirts and patterned shirts that really didn't show them so much. Now that I'm working, and wearing dressier clothes, the shirts are thinner & usually a solid color. I feel like I've got a couple of freaking spelunking lamps on my chest! And, I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but, if I'm not careful while dressing they can wind up pointing in odd directions. Sort of like a lazy eye, but different, so very different. The other great part is sometimes I need to adjust myself. Normally I wouldn't notice, hence, wouldn't care.
THE ELEVATORS AT MY OFFICE ARE MIRRORED!!!!
How hideous is that?!? Not only do I have to be confronted with the fact that my bangs are looking like David Cassidy and my lipstick needs to be reapplied (what's up with that anyway?) I can see in living (gold tinted anyway) color that I need to readjust. It's even better when I'm standing right on the side so that 1/2 of me is reflected in the door & 1/2 in the wall. Makes my right breast look like it is growing out of my neck and the left is growing out of my stomach. I, invariably, decide THAT is the time to adjust...so I do...I'm alone...what's the big?
SECURITY CAMERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I remember the security cameras I try to be embarrassed...until the next time.
Maybe I should start waving.
Or just flash them.
THE ELEVATORS AT MY OFFICE ARE MIRRORED!!!!
How hideous is that?!? Not only do I have to be confronted with the fact that my bangs are looking like David Cassidy and my lipstick needs to be reapplied (what's up with that anyway?) I can see in living (gold tinted anyway) color that I need to readjust. It's even better when I'm standing right on the side so that 1/2 of me is reflected in the door & 1/2 in the wall. Makes my right breast look like it is growing out of my neck and the left is growing out of my stomach. I, invariably, decide THAT is the time to adjust...so I do...I'm alone...what's the big?
SECURITY CAMERAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I remember the security cameras I try to be embarrassed...until the next time.
Maybe I should start waving.
Or just flash them.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Humiliations Galore!
Humiliations Galore
I like wearing skirts, I really do. I'm really not a slacks person, more a jeans or skirts person. This morning has made me re-think the issue of wearing slacks to work...almost.
I was having a temper tantrum. Robert had asked me to get #3 up early this morning, he had school work to fix. I did, granted I didn't wake up very cheerfully.
I know those of you that have known me for most of my life are laughing hysterically right now. The thing is, I have come leaps and bounds in the past 15 years. None of you would recognize me first thing in the morning. I still can't say that I'm perky, but no one has been in mortal danger from me upon awakening in many, many years. If they are, they have deserved it. I have made Herculean efforts to be patient and nice in the morning. But I digress.
Robert woke me up, I did the 3 minute cuddle with #3, then took the dogs out. When I came in I got ready to get in the shower. Rob't complained that I hadn't, "stuck with," #3. He had been walking when I left him, I saw the whites of his eyes, he mumbled coherently to me, I (erroneously) assumed my job was done. I was already grumpy about being up (Rob't & I have differing opinions on the best method of awakening someone), needed to get in the shower, dress, do the whole hair & makeup thing, BLEH. Went in an growled @ #3, "Get dressed right now, you were up, don't make my life harder, we can end the 3 min. cuddle if you don't appreciate it, blah, blah, blah, ad naseum." The boy really is my kid, he wakes up so hard, which is why I'm stuck with getting him out of bed, at least I have some empathy. Anyway...
Rob't was asking me to do all these things. Nothing big, just little, getting ready to go things. It is really no big deal, but this morning it pissed me off. He seems to have them more organized as far as backpacks go, so there isn't that to worry about. He always did the ironing, and I always did getting the boys up. Other than that, I basically got the boys ready and out the door in the morning, by myself. He always had this idea in his head of when he wanted to leave, and nothing would deter him from that. Granted, I probably never asked him for help, but I always heard that he had a time schedule and his time schedule was sacred. Apparently it still is. He just kept asking me to do this, find that, yada, yada, yada, this morning. He doesn't seem to understand or care that I have alot to do, for myself, in the morning to leave also. There is the shower, hair, make-up (& half of that I put on in the car anyway!), etc. I didn't say anything to him, like a complete moron, but eventually barked, "Hey I have things to do too!" This, unfortunately, was when he was walking out the door. Like Flylady always says, "Nobody likes a martyr, especially the martyr." I will talk to him tonight about letting me get ready for work. Again with the digressing.
Anyway, I took #1 to school in a snit. Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy. I asked #1 his opinion about what happened this morning & he just said, "Hey, I'm staying out of this one." Smart boy. After I dropped him off I decided that I deserved eyeliner. I stopped at the Walgreen's to get some. I parked in the 15 min. spot, right by the door, because it wouldn't take me that long. A man was getting into the car to my left as I was getting out. While I was walking, to the right, in the store my skirt just didn't feel right. I ran my hand down the back to check it, felt okay. It still seemed weird. As I passed in front of the door to go in I checked my reflection...the back of the skirt was all bunched up!!!!! I got inside the store, freaked, fixed the skirt and went to look for the eyeliner. The man getting in his car probably got a great show...I have no idea how much of a show & don't want to know. If this was still BW(before work), I wouldn't be wearing a stinking skirt on a Tuesday morning! I would be wearing jeans or shorts or something that is incapable (almost) of flashing anyone unintentionally! I could have been still half asleep instead of fully aware. Most importantly...I wouldn't have given a thought to eyeliner & if I deserved it or not.
The thing that frightens me the most about it is that I'm not all that embarrassed about it. I keep thinking that I should be, but I just am not all that worked up about it. Does that mean I'm an old lady? Rob't keeps telling me that I'm no spring chicken anymore...Butthead.
I like wearing skirts, I really do. I'm really not a slacks person, more a jeans or skirts person. This morning has made me re-think the issue of wearing slacks to work...almost.
I was having a temper tantrum. Robert had asked me to get #3 up early this morning, he had school work to fix. I did, granted I didn't wake up very cheerfully.
I know those of you that have known me for most of my life are laughing hysterically right now. The thing is, I have come leaps and bounds in the past 15 years. None of you would recognize me first thing in the morning. I still can't say that I'm perky, but no one has been in mortal danger from me upon awakening in many, many years. If they are, they have deserved it. I have made Herculean efforts to be patient and nice in the morning. But I digress.
Robert woke me up, I did the 3 minute cuddle with #3, then took the dogs out. When I came in I got ready to get in the shower. Rob't complained that I hadn't, "stuck with," #3. He had been walking when I left him, I saw the whites of his eyes, he mumbled coherently to me, I (erroneously) assumed my job was done. I was already grumpy about being up (Rob't & I have differing opinions on the best method of awakening someone), needed to get in the shower, dress, do the whole hair & makeup thing, BLEH. Went in an growled @ #3, "Get dressed right now, you were up, don't make my life harder, we can end the 3 min. cuddle if you don't appreciate it, blah, blah, blah, ad naseum." The boy really is my kid, he wakes up so hard, which is why I'm stuck with getting him out of bed, at least I have some empathy. Anyway...
Rob't was asking me to do all these things. Nothing big, just little, getting ready to go things. It is really no big deal, but this morning it pissed me off. He seems to have them more organized as far as backpacks go, so there isn't that to worry about. He always did the ironing, and I always did getting the boys up. Other than that, I basically got the boys ready and out the door in the morning, by myself. He always had this idea in his head of when he wanted to leave, and nothing would deter him from that. Granted, I probably never asked him for help, but I always heard that he had a time schedule and his time schedule was sacred. Apparently it still is. He just kept asking me to do this, find that, yada, yada, yada, this morning. He doesn't seem to understand or care that I have alot to do, for myself, in the morning to leave also. There is the shower, hair, make-up (& half of that I put on in the car anyway!), etc. I didn't say anything to him, like a complete moron, but eventually barked, "Hey I have things to do too!" This, unfortunately, was when he was walking out the door. Like Flylady always says, "Nobody likes a martyr, especially the martyr." I will talk to him tonight about letting me get ready for work. Again with the digressing.
Anyway, I took #1 to school in a snit. Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy. I asked #1 his opinion about what happened this morning & he just said, "Hey, I'm staying out of this one." Smart boy. After I dropped him off I decided that I deserved eyeliner. I stopped at the Walgreen's to get some. I parked in the 15 min. spot, right by the door, because it wouldn't take me that long. A man was getting into the car to my left as I was getting out. While I was walking, to the right, in the store my skirt just didn't feel right. I ran my hand down the back to check it, felt okay. It still seemed weird. As I passed in front of the door to go in I checked my reflection...the back of the skirt was all bunched up!!!!! I got inside the store, freaked, fixed the skirt and went to look for the eyeliner. The man getting in his car probably got a great show...I have no idea how much of a show & don't want to know. If this was still BW(before work), I wouldn't be wearing a stinking skirt on a Tuesday morning! I would be wearing jeans or shorts or something that is incapable (almost) of flashing anyone unintentionally! I could have been still half asleep instead of fully aware. Most importantly...I wouldn't have given a thought to eyeliner & if I deserved it or not.
The thing that frightens me the most about it is that I'm not all that embarrassed about it. I keep thinking that I should be, but I just am not all that worked up about it. Does that mean I'm an old lady? Rob't keeps telling me that I'm no spring chicken anymore...Butthead.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Things I hate about working outside of my house
Pantyhose. Admittedly I haven't worn them since day one, where I took them off in the bathroom about 2:00p.m. I put them in my purse (why did I do THAT?!) They are at home and I don't think I'll be wearing them any time soon.
Makeup. On Good Friday I went to church by myself. It was my decision. I was able to pray better and longer than I have in years, but I was missing my kids. Every time I looked up there was another homeschooling family. The tears started to come, then wouldn't stop. I asked the little old lady next to me if she had a tissue. She gave me the only one she had. I was sniffling and trying to keep my mascara from running so I don't wind up looking like Alice Cooper circa 1980! After a while the lady next to me asked the one behind us if she had any tissues because she didn't think I would make it on just hers. I made a complete fool of myself, I tried to get out of there without talking to anyone, but that is impossible. When I didn't wear stinking makeup all the time I could cry and not worry about what I look like!
Shaving my legs. Most of you know how much I HATE shaving my legs. The pits get shaved daily, I'm not European, the legs I let go for as long as I can stand it. I have shaved my legs four times in two weeks!!!! I can't stand it!!! I am the girl that shaved in September, for my brother's wedding, then didn't shave again until some time in March. That was after Robert woke up one morning and screamed, "AAARRRGGGHHH!! There's a man in our bed!!" That, and I just couldn't bare to wear shorts looking like Yeti.
Rush hour traffic. Wow, I haven't missed it. I am not usually one to engage in road rage, but I'm being pushed to my limit. Son #1 commented that I had yelled at another driver the other day and how unusual that was. I didn't tell him about the day when a lady cut me off who had a breast cancer pink ribbon bumper sticker. It was a VERY close call. I yelled, "Get breast cancer and die!" Definitely not one of my finer moments.
Makeup. On Good Friday I went to church by myself. It was my decision. I was able to pray better and longer than I have in years, but I was missing my kids. Every time I looked up there was another homeschooling family. The tears started to come, then wouldn't stop. I asked the little old lady next to me if she had a tissue. She gave me the only one she had. I was sniffling and trying to keep my mascara from running so I don't wind up looking like Alice Cooper circa 1980! After a while the lady next to me asked the one behind us if she had any tissues because she didn't think I would make it on just hers. I made a complete fool of myself, I tried to get out of there without talking to anyone, but that is impossible. When I didn't wear stinking makeup all the time I could cry and not worry about what I look like!
Shaving my legs. Most of you know how much I HATE shaving my legs. The pits get shaved daily, I'm not European, the legs I let go for as long as I can stand it. I have shaved my legs four times in two weeks!!!! I can't stand it!!! I am the girl that shaved in September, for my brother's wedding, then didn't shave again until some time in March. That was after Robert woke up one morning and screamed, "AAARRRGGGHHH!! There's a man in our bed!!" That, and I just couldn't bare to wear shorts looking like Yeti.
Rush hour traffic. Wow, I haven't missed it. I am not usually one to engage in road rage, but I'm being pushed to my limit. Son #1 commented that I had yelled at another driver the other day and how unusual that was. I didn't tell him about the day when a lady cut me off who had a breast cancer pink ribbon bumper sticker. It was a VERY close call. I yelled, "Get breast cancer and die!" Definitely not one of my finer moments.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Everyone is alive
Well, there was the yelling and the screaming when Robert got home and saw the window of the van. All children were allowed to live, tho' Robert did tell me, "#1's life is over. He's going to be my bitch for a long, long time." I asked if he had said that on his own or if he'd heard #1 say it. They both had the same thought independantly, that truly frightens me.
We went to the Diamondbacks game last night. It was so much fun. Robert and the kids took the bus to the game & I left my car in the garage. When we were going home I took the kids upstairs so they could see where Mama works. They were suitably impressed.
Time to get back to work...will post more later.
We went to the Diamondbacks game last night. It was so much fun. Robert and the kids took the bus to the game & I left my car in the garage. When we were going home I took the kids upstairs so they could see where Mama works. They were suitably impressed.
Time to get back to work...will post more later.
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