Monday, June 29, 2009

To hike or not to hike...

I don’t want to pull on the reins! I love what I’m doing now & don’t want to slow down. It has taken so many years to become this active, to find something that really works for me…and now I have to pull back and reassess?!? WTF?!

Doc is amazing. I love her and am amazed and more grateful than I can express for her guidance and the progress I have made under her care. In the nearly 2 years that I’ve been her patient, I have made so much more progress than in the entire previous 20 years. My ankle has less pain & ever so much more mobility. I have lost 40+ pounds, quit smoking and discovered this gluten thing that has really alleviated the anxiety crap. I’m going hiking 3 times a week and doing (minimal) strength training. Because of the mobility issue, I can’t run and walking just doesn’t get my heart rate up enough anymore. Climbing mountains, tho is great exercise for me, the incline REALLY gets my heart rate going! Besides I love it. Being outside, the desert, time with my kids, doing something that I nearly thought I would never do again, all of it. I’m so happy that I’ve finally gotten this exercise routine down & it is going so well.
Today Doc tells me that I am at the point in my progress where I can progress further or set myself up for major injury, and that this is a very fine line. Intellectually I understand this, but what I’d really like to do is lay on the floor & scream & kick. She wants me to brainstorm, reassess and come up with a plan that will respect my ankle more. I know why she won’t tell me what to do. It will mean more to me to research and come up with my own plan. This is how I’m trying to raise my own kids…but DAMN it sucks…it is so much work!
When I was a little girl I couldn’t wait to grow up, be my own boss & get to do whatever I wanted. I hated having people tell me what to do.

This little demotivator really fits me.
But I won't let my craziness compromise my ankle.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I'm sssccccaaaarrrreeeddd?!

What is my problem? I am the girl that, essentially, doesn’t give a crap what anyone thinks. I revel in my lunacy. I do something stupid & it is a cause for celebration.

But now, I’m having performance anxiety, stage fright, an all around case of the nerves!

Laurie Notaro is having an essay contest. Since I am the biggest idiot girl I know, I have to enter! The deadline is only a week away tho and what if what I enter sucks? Is a week long enough to produce a less than 450 word masterpiece? And whatever shall I write about?! Are any of my idiot girl escapades actually funny? Now there are people that say I’m funny and that I should write a book, but these are people like my mom or assorted others that I’ve paid to hang out with me.

Enough of the whining already! I will sit down & crank out a story. If it sucks, so be it. Hey! That could be an idiot girl story all by itself!