Monday, August 11, 2008

Freaks on the loose part deaux

When last we left off, the freakish darlings & I had arrived at "take your child to work day". We went in, got situated & #2 dove head first into the donuts & apple juice. I left him & #3 to their feeding frenzy and brought #1 with me to my desk & introduce him around. I learned a few things from this:

  • "The Pants with Nobody Inside Them" has left massive emotional scars on the boy,
  • you don't introduce your teenager by your adorable nickname for him
  • when introducing him to lots of different people, change the script periodically...apparently I said the same thing to everyone...or be subjected to merciless mocking.

We went back with the group in time to learn what is done in a law firm and then they heard the story of "The People vs. Joey Wolfcrier". This was a mock-trial that the kids got to put on. They received their rolls and split up. While the "actors" were learning their parts, the "jury" was being prepped.
After prep, the trial began. #2 was a witness for the prosecution, the blacksmith. He really didn't like Joey Wolfcrier. My bff's dd was the defense attorney, these are her shoes. I was sitting on the floor taking pictures, so got to watch her feet under the table...cracked me up. I know I'm strange...I don't fight it anymore.

This is our courtroom:Which bff disrupted so the Judge could bang her gavel. None of the kids really knew what she was doing tho...#2 just thought she was being a moron.

The jury went to deliberate, when they returned it was a hung jury. All but one of them thought Joey was innocent. The lone guilty vote was none other than my #3.

Afterward, we did crafts. Here are the results:
After the crafts, we didn't have anything else to do, so got to go home early.
Up next: Freaks on the loose in downtown Phoenix!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Freaks on the loose!

Yesterday was "Take Your Child to Work Day" at my firm. That being the case I was spared the agony of the root-growing experiment and instead got to hang out with the little darlings all day.

The morning began well. #3, who is his mother's child and does a fabulous "bear in deep winter" impersonation, bounded out of bed shortly after 6 a.m., followed by #2 who had slept on the his clothes. #1 had to be coaxed from his slumber but was pleasant...until...he remember we were taking the dreaded bus to work!!!!!! This strapping, 15 year old, football playing, young man began whining like a two year old at nap time.
Ad nauseaum.
We took the bus. (insert evil grin here)
While on our walk #1 continued his diatribe until threatened with being left home...apparently being left out is a fate worse than the bus.

Here is a picture of me, tho, it doesn't show what I am doing...putting on my makeup. Yes, I sit on a bus bench, on one of the most congested streets in the city, and do my face...I am a looser...what can I say.
This next image, is part of the scenery of the bus stop...petrified chicken bones! They have been there for the past week...maybe they are from the Petrified Forest! I could charge admission!
The bus we took was more crowded than usual, we stopped for 3...count them...3 people in wheelchairs. This was a personal record for my bus riding experience. My boys are so good, they got up voluntarily so that older/female people could sit...which left them hanging on me! At least their germs & smells are familiar. I took some are a couple of "bus friends" that my guys gave up their seats for:

#2 was lucky that he finally stood up. The bearded man in the photo was chatting up the guy next to could have been #2 trapped there, instead he was draped across my shoulder like a cat on lithium. When we were finally released from the bus, we went to my office, where the fun began!
I will finish this in two more parts (Gotta do some work!!!! Check me out...I can barely contain myself!!!)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Quiet Desks

They do afford me the time to post here. Something I love to do, but, other than that they are exceedingly annoying. The beauty of being a team secretary is that I don't really have "responsibility". That falls to the regular secretary. The ugly is sitting in a chair attempting to look busy.

I'm not a work-a-holic (stop, just pick yourself back up and keep reading) but I'm getting paid an exorbitant amount of money to hold a chair down, print emails, answer the phone the 1.2 times it rings and the attorney-du-jour can't answer it, and monitor the secretary's email so she doesn't come back to too many firm bulletins and Viagra adds. I think team secretary is just code for an insidious experiment to ascertain the time it takes for roots to form between my ass and the chair and how many times I can bang my head against a keyboard without getting irreparable brain damage.

The last assignment I had lasted over a month and they actually gave me work to do. I didn't have time to blog, let alone much of anything else. In that time there was no moss growing down south, let alone roots. I loved it. They actually acknowledged that I had a brain, and let me use it. Now, 4 working days later, I feel like retarded monkey spandex man could do my job. I feel like a fraud. I am wasting my life for money, when I could be actually raising my children. I would pay to be home with them. I'm coming up with creative time wasters for probably more money than teachers, policemen, firemen, etc. make. I don't know that for sure, but damn I make too much for days like today. This is wrong

Going to lunch before I depress everyone more. Bleh.